Dating is meant for preparation for marriage, but it can also be fun, writes Youth Speak News' Patrick Grant. Photo/Unsplash

Speaking Out: Teenage dating the right way

By  Patrick Grant, Youth Speak News
  • June 2, 2017

When I was a kid, I had a crush on a girl. As far as I was concerned I was going to grow up, marry this girl, have kids with her, etc. However, later on I developed a crush on a different girl.

This kept happening until I was 15 years old and I asked a girl out on a date after youth group. She said yes.

I was so excited! A girl I found attractive apparently had similar feelings for me. That night I asked my mom if it would be ok to see a movie with this girl. Her answer devastated me.

“I’d prefer if you and this girl went with a group of friends.” She told me the purpose of dating is to prepare you for marriage and since I’m not planning on getting married for a few years, there’s really no point to dating in high school.

Time went on and this girl and I were still “courting.” After a few months we went on a date. Just the two of us. We were finally boyfriend and girlfriend. We’ve been dating for almost two years now and the whole experience has been a huge learning curve.

I’m so happy that I took my mom’s advice about group dating and I think it’s a smart move for any teenager looking to enter into a relationship.

Sure, at the time, I hated it. I just wanted to be alone and have the chance to talk to her and get to know her more personally. I had many arguments about this with my mom and while some of my points were valid, they didn’t hold up to hers.

Those first few months of hanging out with friends, going to the beach, going to each other’s houses for dinner with each other’s family, they all helped us get to know each other, just in a different way. It was preparing us for getting to know each other more personally.

When my mom told me that dating is to prepare you for marriage I thought I knew what she meant. Now I realize that I didn’t really completely understand. Dating during high school can be fun, but it’s not for everyone.

A lot of prayer needs to go into it beforehand. If you’re not mature enough to think you need to pray before entering into a committed relationship, you definitely aren’t mature enough for a committed relationship.

I was lucky enough to undergo the Theology of the Body for Teens program so I had a little bit of understanding of what a relationship was supposed to look like. Before asking this girl out, I thought about my reasons for entering into the relationship. I decided the reasons weren’t bad and I really liked the girl so I decided to go for it.

Overall, I believe dating as a teenager is really dependent on the person, their intentions and their family’s rules. I believe that dating is meant for preparation for marriage, but it can also be fun. It has its ups and downs, but what relationship doesn’t?

(Grant, 17, is a Grade 12 student at Colonel Gray Sr. High School in Charlottetown, P.E.I.)

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