Our. Our Father. 

I had recited the words of the Lord’s Prayer for years, but that day as I sat in my RCIA (Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults) group, that word stood out to me like never before and has continued to challenge me since. 

The words I offer here are mainly addressed to the many adults who are being received into the Catholic Church at this year’s Easter Vigil. Welcome. Each of our spiritual journeys is unique. I share with you, here, part of mine.

Just after the terror attacks of 9/11, I was in prayer. I said, “I’ve been bouncing around denominations for years, and if that’s what You want, that’s okay, but if You want me to settle down somewhere, please let me know.” 

Immediately, my eyes were drawn to the schedule of Masses at St. Joseph’s Church in Capitola, California. There would be a Mass that afternoon, so I sneaked in just before it started. I went to the back pew and perceived a voice telling me to move one seat over, which I did. A woman sat beside me. After Mass, they announced that RCIA would be starting in a couple of weeks. I told the woman I was interested in taking that course. She looked straight into my eyes and said, “I will be your sponsor.” 

This parish, which engaged in 24-hour Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament, was gifted with an amazing pastor, Fr. Patrick Dooling, as well as the wonderful pastoral associate, Sr. Joan Derry, SHF. One day in RCIA, I mentioned to Sr. Joan that I thought I was supposed to lead a group of parishioners through a reading of the entire Bible. Shortly after I was received into the Church, I went off on a 30+ day silent Ignatian retreat. While there, Sr. Joan reserved the Mary Room for this group, and this idea became a reality. In the Adoration chapel I wrote a reading schedule, reflections and prayers, and Sr. Joan encouraged me to have these published. This past year, the editors of this newspaper have very kindly been publishing these every week.

Our Father. 

The journey through the Bible group and manuscript weren’t the product of just one person. Parishioners, university professors, publishers — many people contributed in some way to this work.

All this sounds like you’ll only receive happy “butterflies & rainbows” experiences in the Church. Not exactly. As dear Fr. Patrick told us, we catechumens and candidates weren’t getting into a love boat with the Catholic Church — rather, we were getting into a battleship.

It seems that St. John Henry Newman agreed. Upon converting to Catholicism, he apparently wrote to a friend saying that there is nothing so ugly as the Catholic Church and nothing so beautiful.

In my experience, the ugliness comes from us individually and collectively. Taking any public action, for instance, puts us on the radar of “haters” (as Fr. Patrick also said, “No good deed goes unpunished”). It also magnifies our own weaknesses. I shudder at some idiotic words I’ve used and actions that I have done.

Collectively, how welcoming are we in the Church, really? Are ministries in a parish perpetually run by a particular individual or group, with no room for newcomers? Do we contribute to clericalism by demonizing someone coming forward with a complaint of sexual abuse by a charismatic pastor? How strong a witness of Catholic faith are our contributions in social media? Just like in secular society there are warring factions in the Church showing little evidence of following Christ’s exhortation to love one another. Painful feelings of being rejected by members of the Church might coexist with feelings of being supported by other such members.

Our Father. 

Not just my Father, not just yours. It would be easiest to have a personal Father and not to have anything to do with those others in the Church who annoy us or infuriate us. It would also be easiest just to focus on removing the logs in our own eyes and ignoring altogether the specks in the eyes of others. Pointing out specks often involves bruising conflicts. Jesus didn’t go around looking for conflict, but He didn’t hesitate to toss around the tables of the money changers.

I pray that the Church will provide you with opportunities to enjoy and increase the beauty of your new faith community — that is, our faith community.