“Jesus wept” (John 11:35).
At two words, John 11:35 is the shortest verse in the Holy Bible — and yet its significance cannot be overstated. Jesus, the son of God in human flesh, sheds tears through His grief at the death of Lazarus showing His humanity as He sympathizes with our pain and suffering.
The verse comes from a chapter that is looked at in close detail during the Day of Reflection and Prayer for the Bereaved at Manresa Jesuit Spiritual Renewal Centre, where the faithful gather as a community of faith to explore how God is working in their grief.
The day-long retreat is a uniquely tailored offering from Manresa, which already provides Days of Reflection for spiritual renewal each month at its renewal centre in Pickering, Ont. Even with extensive offerings for retreats that cover a variety of themes, it was determined not long ago that more needed to be done for those facing bereavement and loss.
“This is something that started a few years ago when the board met and was looking at what more we could do. One of the aims of the Jesuits at that time was to reach out to the marginalized,” said Mary Hyland, a volunteer who has worked with Manresa for many years. “I thought an area that was not covered was something that offered spiritual support to people who are grieving and bereaved.”
Upon her retirement from pediatrics, Hyland became more interested in grief and bereavement support, especially during the rise of medical assistance in dying (MAiD) in Canada. Through excellent grief training with the Victorian Order of Nurses, she began to help facilitate prayer for the bereavement retreats at Manresa with a focus on the spiritual component.
The latest retreat taking place on Nov. 2 will see roughly 20 attendees come together for a day of prayer and discussion aimed at providing a better understanding of how faith plays a role in grief. The event will be facilitated by Hyland and Sr. Claire Marchal, an Xaviere sister who spent months in India with Mother Teresa's Missionaries of Charity caring for the dying. She has also volunteered in palliative care while working in industry and maturing her vocation call.
“This is something we offer twice a year and we begin with Holy Mass. Meeting in a small room we set up a table within that room with pictures of our loved ones that we have lost. We pray for them and ourselves as we listen to the readings of the Mass and people find that very helpful,” Hyland said.
From there, attendees are invited to share their story of loss with the room and discuss how it has impacted them. Hyland noted that although everyone is gathered over a common theme of loss, the stories are often varied in terms of who, how and how long it has been since each individual's grief journey began. Because of this, she says the sharing of stories often provides each member with hope not only that they are not alone, but also that emotions will improve.
“You can clearly see how it is beneficial to (people sharing) and beneficial to the listeners as well to hear how their faith supported them in very specific ways,” she added.
The afternoon sees smaller groups begin a contemplative prayer on John 11, the Gospel story of Jesus meeting Martha after Lazarus's death. The Lectio Divina or Divine Reading approach allows each member to break down the Scripture in detail, seeing Martha’s frustration and grief and even experiencing how Christ is speaking to them through the verses.
The day-long retreat concludes with a presentation on the stages of grief from Marchal to conceptualize what those attending may be feeling, although the message is clear that there are no set stages.
“We are always cautious of presenting it that way knowing that people grieve in different ways and that they certainly don’t grieve in order. We make it clear to them that we are not trying to impose a way that they should do it, but rather so that we find some commonality to feel like we are in this together because we are,” Hyland said.
“Throughout our bereavement journey, God is merciful, compassionate, comforting and understanding. We experience that God is with us and this is evident through the Mass, our prayers and the mutual support of the people gathered for the day at Manresa,” Hyland said.
Manresa’s upcoming specialized Days of Reflection can be found at https://manresa-canada.ca.