TORONTO - Couples planning to marry shouldn’t look at marriage preparation courses as a place to “grease their wheels” but rather a time to discern if they’re actually ready, experts say.Clint Tyler, director of the marriage preparation and family life office at the archdiocese of Toronto, said its multi-week course is much more than a “happy weekend where couples can feel good,” but a real chance to discuss important issues that many couples don’t address on their own.
“It’s about having them explore if they are ready to commit to a Catholic vision of marriage,” Tyler said. “It’s our job to present that vision of Catholic marriage.”
About 20 per cent of couples who take the archdiocesan marriage prep course decide not to go ahead with a wedding, Tyler said, adding it’s better that they realize ahead of time if they have the same vision for their marriage and understand that it’s not just a commitment but a covenant.
On an evangelical television program some time ago, a married couple who had remarried after being divorced for five years shared their story. While I really enjoyed it, one thing the woman said really bugged me.
Their marriage had failed because she had an affair (or two), didn’t show any remorse and was caught repeatedly lying. When she was asked about her faith journey she said: “I was raised a Catholic, and as Catholics we are not taught that Jesus Christ wants to have a personal relationship with us. It wasn’t until I started having a personal relationship with Jesus (as taught to her by evangelicals) that I started to realize that Jesus cared about me and what I did and thought personally.”
My initial response to that comment was anger, then a question popped into my head. The woman was blaming the Catholic Church for not teaching her to have a personal relationship with Jesus, but why was she not sharing the blame with her parents? Whose duty is it to teach our children the importance of having a relationship with Jesus? More than one pope has said parents are the primary educators of children and have a responsibility to pass down the precepts of the faith.
Tiger Woods has been in the public eye recently for all the wrong reasons, and his marital predicament has spurred many joking comments. I suspect the jocularity masks (as humour often does) a deep concern society has for marital fidelity and, indeed, the overall health and well-being of marriage. Almost all of society — Christians and non-Christians, young and old, traditionalists and non-traditionalists — really are disappointed when infidelity becomes front-page news. Despite all the cultural changes of this era we still hold marriage in high esteem and believe it is worthy of every sacrifice.
In an unexpected way, society’s high regard for marriage is even evident in the campaign for same-sex marriage. Isn’t it odd that gays and lesbians have fought long and hard to gain access to a social institution that some have denounced as outmoded and anachronistic? Even many who until recently had never expected to don the “shackles” of marriage are now clamouring to be allowed to do so. While Catholics continue to believe (for sound theological reasons) that same-sex marriage is a contradiction in terms, the fact that marriage has become a life goal for many who historically have been excluded from it is more testimony to its abiding appeal.
University of Ottawa law professor Errol Mendes has been accused of playing partisan politics, siding with the Taliban against Canadian soldiers and aiding terrorists. He gets vicious hate mail, and at first thought it might not be a good idea to have his picture taken. The reason? A constitutional law expert, Mendes has argued that Parliament has a right and a duty to examine uncensored documents that might reveal whether Afghans captured by Canadian troops were later tortured in Afghan prisons.
On the technical side of the law, he is arguing for the supremacy of Parliament. In his conscience, he’s arguing for Christ.
Today, Malta is one of the world’s most thoroughly Roman Catholic nations, with 98 per cent of the population counted as adherents. Of those, 53 per cent say they regularly attend Mass.
On April 8, millions of people gathered in churches, halls, fields, public venues and schools across the Earth — many well before the crack of dawn — to watch the funeral of someone who told them to serve others before satisfying themselves.
Although the controversy has been framed as a struggle between Christians and Jews, Marrus said he also sees the issue as “an internal debate in the Catholic Church.”
As Haitians go about constructing their future they have some surprising resources to draw upon. These include the Church, the international community and the vast network of humanitarian NGOs around the world.
But one of most overlooked accounts is the community of extraordinarily talented expatriate Haitians, mainly in Canada, France and the United States, who are deeply attached to the land of their birth.
The Catholic Register spoke to Haitian Studies Association president Guerda Nicolas about Haiti's present and future reality. Nicolas has been deeply involved in rebuilding efforts in Petit Goave near Port-au-Prince and has been called upon to advise the Haitian government. A professor of psychology at the University of Miami, she has both an insider's perspective and the ability to see Haiti through the world's eyes.
Catholic Register: What is your sense about the present state of the recovery effort?
Guerda Nicolas: I usually try to make it back to Haiti five to six times a year, but I've been going monthly since the quake. I don't think recovery is taking place yet. I participate in a lot of planning. I'm on the committee for higher education. I'm on a committee with the assistant minister of health. There's a lot of talk and discussion and strategies, but I haven't really seen a lot of movement.
I was really pleased when I was in Haiti recently that people have stopped waiting, especially outside of Port-au-Prince. I think the situation is quite different outside of Port-au-Prince. People have already started to take action into their own hands and say, "We really need to rebuild our home and rebuild our area. We can't afford to wait for aid." I think that's a better strategy.
CR: Was the earthquake an opportunity to start again for a nation that has been badly governed for so much of its history?
GN: Haiti has always been a very vulnerable place. There are lots of people who have in interest in Haiti and not necessarily for Haiti.
People are very cautious about this idea of rebuilding and refounding Haiti. People in Haiti — including myself who was born, grew up and did most of my education in Haiti — we are just concerned about the plans.
CR: Are you hopeful?
GN: I am very hopeful that the Haitian people are very, very strong and very, very resilient. People get a very narrow perspective of who Haitians are and what the Haitian people are about. Most people get a glimpse of what Haiti is about from a Port-au-Prince perspective, and for me that's like getting a picture of what Canada is like from a Toronto perspective or getting a glimpse of the U.S. from New York. It doesn't really capture the essence of what I think Haiti is about.
When I'm outside of Port-au-Prince I'm very hopeful. When I'm in Port-au-Prince I can't help but be depressed.
CR: How does the Haitian religious sense determine psychological treatment of people traumatized by the last year?
GN: The resiliency aspect of Haitians is because they are faith-based people. We're talking about people who have a really strong faith that doesn't get rattled by disasters, even what we just saw.
The majority of people in Haiti believe in God, in God's purpose, and in their purpose in this world. And they use that. That is really what people use to deal with the uncertainty of life. It helps them to cope with whatever's coming their way.
Mostly people are just praying. They're praying and going to church, not just on Sunday but all the time. That's their number one coping mechanism. It's a really strong belief that God is with them, and is always with them, and God is good and is good all the time. When things happen that you don't understand you should have even stronger faith.
CR: Haitians also believe in the devil, and many people after the earthquake experienced nightmares featuring the devil. Can you explain the devil in the Haitian mindset?
GN: That's a part of our Catholic upbringing. I remember growing up and going to Catholic school, and there were really only two types of doctrine. One was God and the goodness of God and the other was the devil. All bad things are not a result of God. It's got to be a result of the other.
There's a sense from people that this (earthquake, cholera, hurricanes) is not God's doing. It can't be because God is just too good. Therefore it is the work of the devil. It is the work of evilness. This (earthquake) is not an opportunity to be unfaithful to our God because that's not what our God would do. That is the message that is not forgotten.
When I see the parents talking to the kids and the kids are wondering, especially the adolescents are wondering, "why are you going to church and why are you praying? Why would God do such a thing? Why would God allow such a thing to happen to us?" The answer is really simple. This is not the work of God. This is the work of the other. And we're going to have to continue to praise Him for His glory and what He did, which He did for us. Because that's the only way we will defeat the devil. This is not the time for us to become non-believers. That's the message they're giving to their kids.
CR: Does Haiti have the resources to deal with a traumatized population?
GN: Haiti has more of the resources that it needs than people have assumed. I think people assume that there are no psychiatric nurses in Haiti, that there are no social workers, that there are no psychologists and that there are no psychiatrists in Haiti. And that's false.
CR: What role do you see for Haitian expatriates? Can Haiti use you, use that community around the world, to build a new future?
GN: Actually, I think Haiti is dependent on that. My message this year to the Haitian Studies Association was very clear. We have Haitian scholars in every discipline that Haiti is in need of. We have medical doctors, we have psychiatrists, psycghologists, we have educators, we have nurses, we have engineers. We have all the groups... Haiti is in need of us now.
We're in a position that is very different from somebody who is not familiar with the culture, who is not familiar with the soil of Haiti.
It's very clear to me that Haiti's future is not dependent on foreign aid and foreigners coming into Haiti. That has been the history of Haiti in the past. I really do believe that this is the time that we need to come back home. It is time for Haitians to come back home. Not on a permanent level. I"m not asking everybody to go as often as I do, or to go back and live in Haiti. But those talented minds are needed in Haiti. People need to see people who speak for them who are highly educated. That's the kind of role models this next generation needs to see.
CR: Do we foreigners have a part to play?
GN: Absolutely. Working with some of my colleagues and some of the work we're doing there's an opportunituy to enrich both ways. My colleagues who are white get a chance to be enriched and be exposed to a whole other culture and a way of life that is very different.
I am in need of that collaboration with my colleagues. I can only speak from my experience, working with some of my white colleagues, how crucial it is to have their expertise, their level of experience and their outside perspectives in what we are doing.
I'm so in it, that once in a while it's good to have somebody say, "Hey Guerda have you thought about this?" I don't have all the answers. And it's really really good to be part of a team. For me that's the answer, to be part of a teamwork approach.
CR: Is the Church a help or hindrance in Haiti's recovery?
GN: If you really want to get Haitians moving there are only two things you have to say to them. One is the Church. It's really having an opportunity to connect with their priests and pastors, to hear from their priests and pastors. That has a lot of meaning to them. The second is to talk to them about how to get an education for their kids.
If we don't have a Church component in Haiti, really, honesty there's only half a Haiti. Haiti is so dependent, so attached, and the people of Haiti are so ingrained in their Church, in the Church message and in their spiritual self that it is absolutely crucial that that continues. But I think an examination of how the message is delivered is really important.
The question is not the importance of the Church, but really what kind of message is the Church delivering, and how is that message consistent on a day-to-day, week-to-week and monthly basis?
- RAISING UP HAITI -
a Catholic Register special report
Haiti's churches need healing [slideshow]
What now in Haiti?
Post-traumatic stress proves difficult
Catholic aid organizations fly under the radar
Canadian engineer to oversee Haiti’s Church rebuild
Haiti must take this opportunity to change
Crisis makes D&P rethink how it operates
Bold education plan held up by a lack of funds
Church holds community together
D&P-funded program provides pro-life solution to Haiti's sexual violence
Haitians must look to themselves to rebuild their nation
More...
TORONTO - The thought of a chalice or paten made in a sweatshop, of chasubles sewn by child labour or religious statues that come out of a factory that dumps heavy metal in a river, killing the fish, would be distinctly uncomfortable for most Catholics.The church in Canada helps fund the Maquiladora Solidarity Network and KAIROS, organizations that have demanded that major clothing retailers and manufacturers disclose their supply chains so anyone can find out whether a shirt or a pair of athletic shoes was made in a sweatshop. The church has spoken out against abusive working conditions since Pope Leo XIII issued the encyclical Rerum Novarum in 1891.
New source for stem cells would sidestep moral issues for Catholics
By Deborah Gyapong, Canadian Catholic News
OTTAWA - Fr. André Drouin rushes from his Ottawa office and returns with a woven white and black rug. He holds up a side where black dominates the weave; when he turns it over, white dominates. He explains that just like the rug, the church is one, but it has two different faces: a celebratory face reflecting the love towards God, and a face of service to others, reflecting love of our neighbours.Editor's note: The following is excerpted from the message of Pope Benedict XVI issued for the World Day of Peace, Jan. 1. The statement is called The Human Person, the Heart of Peace.
1. At the beginning of the new year, I wish to extend prayerful good wishes for peace to governments, leaders of nations and all men and women of good will. In a special way, I invoke peace upon all those experiencing pain and suffering, those living under the threat of violence and armed aggression, and those who await their human and social emancipation, having had their dignity trampled upon. I invoke peace upon children, who by their innocence enrich humanity with goodness and hope, and by their sufferings compel us all to work for justice and peace. Out of concern for children, especially those whose future is compromised by exploitation and the malice of unscrupulous adults, I wish on this World Day of Peace to encourage everyone to reflect on the theme: The Human Person, the Heart of Peace. . . .