“You will not live a Hollywood movie in your life,” she said. “And you will be completely crushed when you are married to see how completely different from Hollywood it is.”

During her talk at Valrideau to about 25 young professionals, high school and university students, she cautioned that while girls’ imaginations are wired to entertaining romantic fantasies, they should remember that their lives are not fantasy.

For most in the audience, their current reality was being single. Rather than seeing this as a lonely time, Freundorfer said single life was an opportunity to find yourself, develop your talents and interests and realize that “your happiness comes from you growing and being the best you can be.”

As a Catholic, Freundorfer explained that true happiness comes from God.

“As happily as I’m married and as much as I love my kids, they fall short in giving me exactly what I deeply yearn for because that is truly in God,” she said.

“Leave Him out of the equation, you might find it but you’ll be swimming all over the place and it might take you a longer time.”

By not relying on a man to make you happy, you’ll have more to bring to the table with what it takes to make a marriage work, she said.

Freundorfer explained that many married couples struggle with the reality of marriage “that requires a lot of hard work on my part to step on my ego, to learn how to serve another person’s needs, to understand that this guy is not my girlfriend in a male body.”

On dating, Freundorfer said its purpose was to find your spouse and that it is not a sport or entertainment.

On her third date with her future husband, Freundorfer recalled that he asked her whether or not she could see herself marrying him.

For him, he explained, the purpose of dating is marriage. If she did not see herself marrying him, he told her, “I want to walk away from this because I don’t want us getting emotionally involved when we’re not headed in the same direction.”

His approach, Freundorfer recognized, is very counter-cultural. Instead of discerning, “dating now takes on a sexual side,” she said.

Girls and guys also have different approaches to relationships. As Freundorfer explained, “Your problem is romantic fantasy. For a guy, his problem is sexual fantasy.”

That being said, the way a girl dresses and conducts herself is very important, she said.

“If you want to catch a good guy, a Mr. Right, then you have to have the right attire for it. You cannot dress like a playgirl for a playboy.”

She noted that while this might be harder in today’s society with sexual liberation and promiscuity, the end — marriage — makes it all worth it.

“Marriage is the best place for love, marriage is the best place for sex, marriage is the best place for family,” Freundorfer said.

“Outside of marriage, sex is a lie. You can sleep with a guy and have a ton of fun with him, even if you decide to live with him, but in your heart, you’re always going to hold back because you’re going to wonder, is he going to be here tomorrow? Did I say the right thing? Did I say the wrong thing? Does he love me or not? Is he committed or not?

“Genuine love,” she explained, “is not about me feeling loved. It is about doing what is best for the other person and sacrificing my own desires.”

For more information, see Freundorfer’s web site at www.10kids.com.

(Thien-An Nguyen, 18, is a history and political science student at the University of Ottawa. Read her Q&A at youthspeaknews.org)