But when I learned that Facebook has more than 400-million users, which includes not only my daughters’ friends but friends, relatives and professional associates of my own, I realized it was time to take a second look and see what the hoopla was all about. My daughter was jubilant; I was  skeptical.

The process was intimidating, but I did it. I got to know Facebook well enough to establish some ground rules for my daughter’s trial membership. The first step was to open my own account. I haven’t looked back. In fact, I’m hooked and although I got burned along the way, I’m much wiser.

I learned there is a subgroup of teenagers and young adults out there who do not value their privacy whatsoever. I have seen things posted on Facebook that literally took my breath away. You really do see a different side of someone when they post all their pictures online and itemize all their life experiences.

Many among that same group of young people have little or no respect for their elders. For example, a distant relative and a young friend were using language and telling stories in their “news feeds” that concerned me. I decided to question them on it. Their response? I was deleted as a friend.

With the press of a button the online relationship ended. No explanations, no discussions, nothing. I was left both hurt and angry when I realized that, on Facebook, I was just one of  hundreds of “friends” and if someone objected to what I said, I could simply be deleted. And I was, more than once.

There is another interesting trend in that age group — they think nothing of ignoring you. Being accepted as a “friend” doesn’t mean you’ll get a response to something you write on someone’s “wall.” In fact, I have come to accept that being ignored on Facebook is the norm. Many people will accept lots of  “friends” to build up their public profile, but in the end want nothing to do with you.

People who I thought were friends (including relatives) declined to  accept my friendship. On the other hand, people I hardly knew were sending me requests. So there I was in the tail end of my middle age experiencing feelings I hadn’t felt since high school. It’s been a bit of an emotional roller coaster, but I love it all the same.

One thing that needs to be mentioned is that at any given time when my teenage daughter is online there could be between 35-55 of her “friends” online with her. Think about that when you see your son or daughter gazing at their computer. They are in another world.

There is another world right in your home, a world of teenagers, young adults, middle-agers socializing in byte-size pieces. At the same time you may be watching television, doing chores, reading or praying, your child or husband could be interacting with people you may or may not know, being influenced by things you may or may not approve.

Do you know who your children’s friends are? Do you know what types of photographs they are looking at? Do you know what web sites they frequent?

Online communication can be innocent and meaningless. But the Internet can also be a dark and negative place where people see and hear things that, in previous generations, were unimaginable.

It therefore becomes important to coach your kids and keep the lines of communication open. As parents or spouses we mustn’t shy away from the household battles to maintain our authority and uphold family integrity.

I’m surprised by the number of kids who have Facebook accounts and shocked by the number of parents who know absolutely nothing about Facebook. As parents, we spend years protecting our children from all sorts of dangers, but when it comes to Facebook too many parents are relinquishing their authority and responsibility.

If your teenager has a Facebook account, you have a duty to get informed and get online.

(Pilarski, a professional speaker and consultant, can be reached at www.dorothypilarski.com.)