She has taught me many things but perhaps most important she helped me understand that, despite the many positive advances, modern society often has a negative impact on women. 

It’s ironic that women are entrusted with the gift of giving life yet in many cases are the ones destroying it. Women, the gatekeepers of life who are bestowed with the privilege of co-creating with the divine, are too often turning their backs on the call to have children.

We have all heard it said that the best gift a mother can give a child is another brother or sister. It’s a modern tragedy that women don’t take those words more seriously. Instead, many women shrug them off as an empty platitude when they should be prayerfully discerning whether God is calling them to have a child, or another child.

Through my work, I have had hundreds of conversations with women. I’ve noticed recently that many are afflicted with a twisted sense of self-sufficiency. I call these women Self-Sufficient Susie.

Self-Sufficient Susie is a woman with one or two children who has decided she’s done with babies. So she cuts herself off from the divine gift of procreation. She manages her body with machine-like efficiency and is proud to say she is the boss.

In some cases, she assesses her husband’s faults and decides she doesn’t need him. She files for divorce. She doesn’t want to carry the cross that is very real in many marriages. Or sometimes she is looking for a husband but, failing to find a perfect candidate, shuts the door on marital love.

Self-Sufficient Susies are having a dramatic impact on the Church, but nobody is talking about it. Getting to know von Hildebrand has helped me see this and she’s given me the confidence to question this phenomenon, because I now realize Susie has been deceived.

Whenever I get the chance, I tell women that I’ve never met anyone who regretted having another child. Nor have I met a woman who has regretted staying at home with their children. I suppose such women are out there but I’ve never come across them. Instead, I’ve met hundreds of women who admit they gave too much of themselves to careers and who have wept over precious moments lost. I have also witnessed many women cry inconsolably in remorse after having an abortion.

When von Hildebrand endorsed Motherhood Matters, I felt blessed. She has helped me in so many ways. Because of her mentoring, I gained clear insight into my role as a mother.

Part of her life’s work is to help women regard motherhood as a form of knighthood. A mother is charged with shielding her children from dangerous worldly influences, rising up like a crusader to fend off inappropriate media, Hollywood, secularism, materialism, greed, sexualization, technology, immodesty, relativism, selfishness, profanity and more.

That’s how my mother raised her children, but it took von Hildebrand to help me see it. Now I can’t imagine regarding motherhood any other way.

But judging from parenting magazine covers, I doubt many mothers consider themselves knights. From what I see in most books and magazines, mothers are instructed to care for their children — love them, indulge them, provide opportunities, educate them, entertain them — but I’ve never seen mothers advised to go to battle against the negative influences that abound in society.

Lately I have been researching knighthood. The more I read, the more I see the parallels with motherhood. I thank God for the weapons to defend family life: the Bible, the rosary, Mass, eucharistic adoration and the Sacrament of Reconciliation.

We are fortunate to have these spiritual weapons to advance the cause of Catholic motherhood. The challenge is to help more women realize the power of these supernatural gifts so they too can join the crusade.